Posts Tagged ‘humour’
The Steak Pie Song
Steak Pie Song
This is totally funny and says it all about everything that’s good about Scotland and weegie neds! If your under 18 best close your ears!
Vote Clarkson for Prime Minister!
There is a petition on the Downing Street Website to make Jeremy Clarkson Prime Minister. While he is not much of a fan of motorcycles (a bad thing) he otherwise talks a lot of sense – he suggested banning tractors on roads, and threw into question the stats that speed kills when in fact only 4% of all road accidents have speed as a factor, most happen in the country hitting dead sheep- and stuff (well they are dead once you have hit them anyway) and I reckon he ought to be given the chance. If you agree (and several tens of thousands of others do), sign up here.
Actually while on the subject, some knobber has put up a petition to ban sat nav while driving….. what kind of idiot is this! Like, when else are you gonna use it?!
Scotland dies laughing
England 2 – 3 Croatia
TRIBUTES are being paid to Scotland this morning after the entire country laughed itself to death.The alarm was first raised at around 10pm last night as thousands of phone calls and text messages went unanswered.Small groups of volunteers from Berwick-Upon-Tweed and Carlisle ventured north just after midnight only to find houses full of dead people gathered around still blaring television sets.
By dawn, as RAF helicopters flew over deserted city streets, it was clear that the whole country had suffered a catastrophic abdominal rupture.
Wayne Hayes, a special constable from Northumberland, said: “We went into one house in Dunbar and found three men sitting on the sofa with huge smiles on their faces, still holding cans of 70 shilling. They seemed to be at peace.”
He added: “In a house near Edinburgh we found a man face down on the living room floor with his trousers and pants round his knees.
“It seems he may have been showing his bare buttocks to the television when he keeled over.”
Roy Hobbs, a civil engineer from Northampton, said: “I got a call from my friend Ian in Stirling at about 9.50pm.
“He was already laughing when I answered the phone, but after about 25 minutes of the most vigorous and uncontrollable hilarity, everything suddenly went very quiet.”
Moving tributes are already being placed along the Scotland-England border with many mourners opting to leave a simple bag of chips or a deep fried bunch of flowers.
From the daily mash @ http://www.thedailymash.co.uk
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